Dr. Laura Goes Off the Deep End With Marriage Charade Advice

Talk Radio has always been a love-hate thing with me. I go through phases where I get fixated on a particular talk-show host and listen, listen, listen, every time I get in the car. Then I'll hear something on their show that will get me SO disgusted I stop listening and go back to channel-switching again. I just heard something on Dr. Laura's show that angered me SO much I am done with her. Forever. Well, OK, until I get sick of someone else's show and decide to go back and listen to her again.

If you've never heard of Dr. Laura or her radio show, let me sum her up in one word---ZEALOUS. She is extremely opinionated and is pro-life, anti-feminist, and does not believe in divorce (and she's not even Catholic).  She's a big believer that divorce is bad for kids, but this really crosses the line.

So this guy calls in today, says he's been married for 16 years, the last eight with the knowledge that his wife cheats on him regularly. They made a deal when he first found out about her infidelity 8 years ago that they'd stay together for the sake of their son, then 8 years old. They'd "co-parent", so he wouldn't have to be the child of a divorce. This got a huge round of "atta-boys" from Dr. Laura.

The man was calling because although this arrangement has "worked well", the son is now 13 and asking a lot of questions. He presented Dad with his suspicions that Mom is cheating on him, to which Dad lied and answered with some sort of gibberish about, "well, things aren't always as they seem", yadda yadda yadda. I guess Mom has a boyfriend she met on the Internet, and has regular trips across the country to go see him. Dad's question for Dr. Laura is, do you think I should encourage her to stay another 5 years till the son is 18 so they can finally divorce then? YES, she answers, all-too-quickly. They PRAY she will play along. As I'm panting with rage, I can hear Dad nodding his head, feeling very smug, as he tells the listening audience,  "to all you out there listening, I wouldn't have chosen any other solution." He's Dad the Martyr, out to save his son from........what exactly?????

I'm floored. I know Dr. Laura's a kook but that's why she's fun to listen to. Occasionally I agree with her, but give me a break here!!! Dr. Laura applauds all this in the name of marriage???? Let me get the facts straight. Dad can't stand Mom. She's been sleeping with other men (dangerous men too, Dad says). They have put on a charade for 8 years to their son that they are happily married?? Where's the affection?? What are they teaching their son?? He's obviously not stupid here. He already gets that something's amiss. I can't imagine what dinnertime in their household is like. The man sounds like he's about to go "postal" at any minute, he's got so much pent-up anger at his wife.

Tim and I are always cuddling on the couch, he kisses me hello after he comes home from work, we go out on dates every now and then. We are best friends. We share parenting duties with laughter, affeciton, and love. Our kids see that we have a REAL marriage, not a hostile "pretend" marriage like this guy and his "wife".  Does Dr. Laura really think that living an honest life separately is really soooo bad for this 13 year old boy that the parents have to put on a charade in front of him? Come on!! I'm insulted for this boy. Seriously. He is figuring it out and will have no respect for either of his parents as the truth WILL come out.

I really really really don't get how this could be in any way good for the son. He's learning #1) His parents are liars and cannot be trusted. #2) Marriage is about martyring yourself. It is not the union of two people who've joined together to love, trust and honor one another. Where's the friendship? Where's the affection? Is there any laughter in this household? What a joke. (pun not intended)

We all know divorce is hard on kids. We all know that no one marries thinking they'll get divorced. But sometimes it's in EVERYONE'S best interest to do so.  If they divorced, both Mom and Dad could live a more honest life, heal from the pain they've inflicted on one another, and maybe find new spouses that would enhance their son's life as well. I know lots of step-moms and step-dads that are every bit as loving and caring as the biological parent, some more so. How can this not be considered an option?

This son would benefit from not being lied to, as if HE's the one who's crazy, seeing things as they really are and being told it's not true. Then finding out later, that he was right all along. The son will also be free of being manipulated by the two people he trusts most--his parents. If the father really loves his son, he'll tell him the truth, and teach him that a man deserves to be loved and treated with respect and dignity. Why would anyone put up with the nonsense this "wife" is doing to this family? How dare the husband/Dad inflict such dishonesty on the sacred home of this child? I'm furious. Absolutely blood-boiling mad. But the worst part is---Dr. Laura is applauding it!!

Dr. Laura has said in the past that the best gift a husband can give his children is simply, love their mother. This is not love. This is pathetic.

Readers? What do YOU think?