Except for my stint as a part-time substitute teacher the last 3 years, I've been a stay-at-home mom for the previous 12 years. I just got a job in a similar line of work that I used to do before Tim and I had kids--bartending. I work at the gym we belong to; mostly making protein smoothies and pizza and other snacks, but serving up drinks for the grown-ups as well. As with any food service job, keeping the work area clean is top priority. When I'm not serving customers, I'm scrubbing stainless steel, mopping floors, washing glasses and blenders, re-stocking supplies. Being new, I wasn't sure the first time I had to mop whether or not this particular spot on the tile was just a stubborn, sticky spilt-mark or a permanent part of the caulking. After spending considerable time scraping and scrubbing it to the point that I had my answer (it came up! I was so proud!) I had what Oprah would call a "lightbulb moment". Thankfully, it was a slow shift, and I subsequently wrote this blog on company time, albeit on little sections of receipt paper, fed and torn into 4-inch strips. I call it, "Why Companies Should Hire Moms Instead of Teenagers and Other Assorted Men-Folk". In no particular order, here's my top 36 reasons why mothers make the best employees:
1. Moms are thrilled to be getting paid to do stuff at home we do for free.
2. We are thrilled to have a good reason to get out of the house.
3. Moms get to be around other adults, having adult conversations.
4. We know how to multi-task. (We cook dinner with a baby on one hip, feed the dog, and talk on the phone, check our email).
5. We're used to running around frantically, taking care of many people with completely different needs all at the same time.
6. Moms are experts at smiling on the outside while screaming on the inside.
7. We are thrilled to get a paycheck! Assuages our guilt over spending money on getting our nails done.
8. Moms finally feel appreciated. After all, we get a paycheck!
9. Moms like that people get to see them at their best instead of their worst all the time.
10. We have an excuse for take-out.
11. Moms have a good reason to get their nails done and buy new make-up and earrings! (see #9)
12. We don't complain about having to work a holiday. (what's a holiday??)
13. EXCEPT MOTHER'S DAY. THAT'S SACRED.
14. Moms aren't likely to steal from the company.
15. We're not likely to show up stoned or drunk. Or hungover.
16. Moms get excited at being called by their names instead of 'Mommy" for a change!
17. We are used to eating standing up.
18. Moms are used to eating cold food.
19. We are used to going without eating.
20. Moms are psychic. We are amazing at anticipating the needs of others.
21. We are more likely to show up.
22. ON TIME. OR EARLY. (see #1)
23. Moms know better than to roll our eyes, sigh, or cluck our tongues when our boss asks us to do something out of our job description. (are you thinking of the last time you asked your kid to pick up after himself???)
24. We don't call in sick unless we absolutely cannot get out of bed. Moms are used to carrying on, regardless of how crappy we feel.
25. Moms are quick learners.
26. We handle pressure better than anyone else. Moms are like ducks--on the surface we are calm but underneath, we are paddling like crazy.
27. Moms like it when we are told we are doing a great job. No one tells us this at home.
28. We like making new friends! (see #3)
29. Moms don't act like menial work is beneath us. (see #1)
30. We like that our families learn to appreciate us in our absence.
31. And often we come home to clean a house. (thank you Timmy and kids!!)
32. While we are working, the kids learn to get along without us. Magnificently by the way.
33. Moms have amazingly strong bladders.
34. We obsess over dirty surfaces. (we had crawling babies, remember?)
35. Unidentified spots will be scrubbed till they disappear. It's just the way we're made.
36. Getting out of the house occasionally helps us to lose weight. (It's a win-win! We get paid, AND we can lose poundage!)
All this I came to realize just mopping the floor the other night at work. I am SO glad I'm back in the workplace, as hard as it is sometimes to not be there to pick my kids up from school (that's what buses are for!) and for them to have to fend for themselves sometimes. But you know what? Jen and Ian have gotten so much closer and so much more independent. Just this past Saturday, with me working and Tim out of town, Jennifer made pancakes and scrambled eggs for her brother. He had a track meet, and she cooked for him and woke him up and made him breakfast. I know! Made me cry too. What a sweetheart. And he ate it all. He was very appreciative.
And she had breakfast waiting for me when I got home too. Thank you sweetheart!!!
And Friday night I had candles and a bubble bath waiting for me, and all the laundry folded and put away. I love my husband!!!
Guess what? I love working!!!
