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Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Celebrities Who've Attempted Suicide--may surprise you

This shouldn't be as shocking as it first appears. As someone who's a suicide survivor (which doesn't mean I've attempted suicide myself--it means I have lost a loved one to suicide) it is interesting reading. We suicide survivors are always left with the "why" someone has tried to kill themselves; those who've attempted but didn't die can help us understand the mindset at the time of attempt.

In my opinion, it appears that loss of hope that circumstances will ever be better, combined with clinical depression, cause many suicide attempts. It's interesting to do further reading, and find out, "how did they climb out of their depression?", and "were they ultimately glad they didn't die?"

Here's the list. You can click on the link for reader comments.
Sandy Wood
   
 
I was surprised and saddened last week to read of the reported suicide attempt by actor Owen Wilson.Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums are staff favorites here, and we’re definitely hoping and wishing for Wilson’s full recovery. But as I started thinking about the comedy star, and mulling over the constant stress of his profession, it made me realize just how pervasive attempted suicide is among high-profile people. Here are some selected 20th century celebs who attempted suicide, but managed to turn their lives around:
halle.jpgHalle Berry – admitted to Parade magazine that, distraught over her failed marriage to baseball star David Justice, she tried to end her life by carbon monoxide poisoning.
Greg Louganis – depressed, abused and confused, Greg attempted suicide three times (including once by an aspirin-and-Ex Lax combo) after a knee injury at age 12 ruined his dream of becoming an Olympic gymnast. Luckily, he recovered, and made it to the Games as a diver.
James Stockdale – H. Ross Perot’s former running mate attempted suicide while a POW at Hoa Lo Prison in Vietnam in 1969 to avoid torture.
Donna Summer – tried to leap from an 11-story window at a New York hotel at the peak of her career in 1976, but was discovered by a housekeeper.
Drew Carey – after a rough childhood that included sexual molestation by an unknown party and his father’s death, the lovable Price is Right host attempted suicide twice in his teen years.
wallace.jpgMike Wallace – in a 2006 retrospective honoring his retirement as a 60 Minutescorrespondent, Wallace revealed a suicide attempt twenty years prior.
Paul Robeson – the “Ol’ Man River” vocalist tried to off himself by slashing his wrists in a Moscow hotel room in 1961, although his son (Paul Jr.) claims the event was caused by a CIA/FBI conspiracy that drugged him with LSD.
Elizabeth Taylor – hoped to end her life in February 1962 with an overdose of Seconal, although she said she did so only because she “needed to get away.”
Fred “Rerun” Berry – the What’s Happening!! star said he tried to kill himself three times prior to finding religion in 1984.
Robert Young – yes, even the Father Knows Best father fell victim to depression later in life, culminating in a 1991 attempt on his own life.
And an alphabetical list of some others: 
adamant.jpgMaxene Andrews – survived after attempting suicide via a pill overdose in 1954, distraught over the breakup of the vocal group she’d formed with her siblings, The Andrews Sisters.
Adam Ant – tried to OD on pills in his early 20s after breaking up with his girlfriend.
Mary Astor – alcoholism led to a reported suicide attempt in 1951 with sleeping pills; she maintained it was an accident.
Tai Babilonia – attempted suicide after she became addicted to alcohol and amphetamines following her Olympic skating disappointment in 1980.
Drew Barrymore – after leaving drug rehab in 1989 at the age of 14, she tried to kill herself, but received treatment and successfully kicked the habit.
Brigitte Bardot – attempted suicide several times, first as a teenager. At 26, she downed a bottle of sleeping pills and slit her wrists, but recovered. “I took pills because I didn’t want to throw myself off my balcony and know people would photograph me lying dead below.”
Danny Bonaduce – made headlines by attempting suicide in 2005 during the filming of the reality showBreaking Bonaduce after his wife asked him for a divorce. Neither the attempt (nor the subsequent hospitalization) was shown on-screen.
Maria Callas – frustrated with her efforts to lure Aristotle Onassis away from then-wife Jackie Kennedy, she reportedly tried to OD on barbiturates in May 1970 (but later denied the attempt).
Martine Carol – thought that a triple-whammy of alcohol, drugs, and drowning would end her life when this French actress threw herself into the Seine at the age of 26. The cab driver who drove her there ended up saving her life.
Nell Carter – became addicted to cocaine and attempted suicide during the run of her hit TV show Gimme a Break.
cash.jpgJohnny Cash – in 1967, the “man in black” withdrew to a cave just north of Chattanooga, Tennessee, hoping to lose his way (and his life). He found his way out.
Gary Coleman – announced in 1993 that he had tried to commit suicide twice by taking sleeping pills.
Nadia Comaneci – while she denied it for years, the gymnastics legend was so stressed out (due to several factors, including her parents’ divorce) that she tried to end her life by drinking bleach just two years after her 1976 Olympics success.
sammy.jpgSammy Davis, Jr. – the biography Me and My Shadow reveals that a distraught Davis, fed up with cracks about his race, religion, and height, tried to kill himself on his wedding night by driving off a cliff.
Diana, Princess of Wales – told an interviewer that she threw herself down some stairs while pregnant with William, hoping to put an end to her unhappiness.
Walt Disney – the Leonard Mosley biography Disney’s World reveals a rumored suicide attempt.
Micky Dolenz – performed a suicide scene in The Monkees’ 1968 film Head, then tried it for real a few years later after the band had broken up by walking into traffic and sitting down in the roadway.
Patty Duke – bipolar disorder resulted in several attempted suicides during her life.
eminem&kim.jpgEminem – tried to overdose on Tylenol in 1996 after wife Kim Mathers dumped him. She attempted suicide four years later by slitting her wrists.
Marianne Faithfull – attempted suicide in Australia 1969, after which she broke up with boyfriend Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones.
Peter Fonda – in 1950, a few months after his mother committed suicide, the 10-year-old shot himself in the stomach. Claims it was “stupid and accidental,” but some believe it was the youngster’s attempt at taking his own life.
Clark Gable – hoped to die during a high-speed motorbike rampage shortly after wife Carol Lombard was killed. He then joined the Army and flew missions over Germany during World War II.
Stan Getz – the celebrated saxophonist became addicted to heroin and tried to kill himself with a drug overdose in 1954 when police confronted him over an ill-fated attempt to rob a Seattle pharmacy. He spent three days in a coma.
Dwight “Doc” Gooden – in 1994, the troubled former Cy Young Award winner held a 9mm pistol to his head before his wife took it from him.
griffeyjr.jpgKen Griffey, Jr. – in 1988, just months after signing a lucrative pro baseball contract, the 18-year-old ingested over 200 aspirin to escape insults from fans and arguments with his father. He recovered after time in intensive care.
Mariette Hartley – attempted suicide (as did her mother) after her father died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in 1962. Now an advocate for suicide prevention.
Susan Hayward – the breakup of marriage to Jess Barker, and the related custody battle for her sons, led to a 1966 suicide attempt.
Houston – the R&B singer was stopped after he tried to throw himself out of a hotel window in 2005, and then gouged out his own eye. Reports vary as to the reason behind this behavior.
Betty Hutton – her father killed himself after leaving her mother. In 1970, Betty tried to take her own life when her singing voice faltered.
Michael Jackson – in June 2005, a bogus, trojan-laced email reporting on a suicide attempt by the “king of pop” (just before he was found not guilty) infected computers worldwide. While that report was false, some sources claim Jackson did try to off himself that December.
Billy Joel – after the failure of his band Attila, attempted suicide in late 1970 by drinking furniture polish. “It looked tastier than bleach,” he later revealed.
Elton John – tried to kill himself by sticking his head in a gas stove, but writing partner Bernie Taupin found him “lying on a pillow, and he’d opened all the windows.” The two collaborated on the song “Someone Saved My Life Tonight” to tell the story.
Sally Kirkland – the actress spent her 20s mired in drugs until a suicide attempt literally scared her straight.
shelley.jpgShelley Long – despite tabloid reports that her 2004 overdose on painkillers was a suicide attempt, the Cheers star claims she simply overmedicated herself in order to cope with the breakup of her marriage to Bruce Tyson.
Ginger Lynn – at the age of 12, the future porn star ingested a cocktail of medications to escape from her mother’s constant abuse.
Jeanette MacDonald – tried to overdose on pills after learning of Nelson Eddy’s marriage in 1939; was saved by W.S. Van Dyke (who later killed himself).
Mindy McCready – the country singer announced in 2005 that she had twice attempted suicide due to problems with boyfriend William McKnight, who had once nearly choked her to death.
Robert McFarlane – the National Security Advisor tried to end his life in 1987 over his involvement with the Iran-Contra scandal. He took an estimated 30 tablets of Valium.
Sinéad O’Connor – claims to have been haunted by thoughts of suicide her whole life. Reportedly attempted it in 1993, and then swallowed 20 Valium tablets in a failed 1999 suicide attempt.
Jennifer O’Neill – first attempted suicide at the age of 14, and then “accidentally” shot herself in the stomach in 1983, but recovered.
ozzy.jpgOzzy Osbourne – not only did he supposedly inspire self-slaughter with the song “Suicide Solution,” but Ozzy admits to having attempted to off himself several times during his life, even as a teenager.
Marie Osmond – The National Enquirer reported that the singer’s hospitalization in the summer of 2006 was due to an attempted suicide, but she and her publicists wrote it off to a reaction to medication.
Terrell Owens – the volatile NFL star denied a September 2006 report that he’d tried to kill himself by overdosing on prescription painkillers he had been taking for a broken finger.
bird.jpgCharlie Parker – the jazz legend known as “The Bird” wanted to end his life in 1954, but failed in two attempts. He was then admitted to the Bellevue clinic, where he received much-needed therapy.
Barbara Payton – in a love triangle with Franchot Tone and Tom Neal, she ingested several sleeping pills in an attempt on her own life, but was discovered by Tone. (See Jean Wallace entry below.)
Dennis Price – consumed by alcohol, the tall British actor left the gas on in his oven at his London apartment in 1954. A servant found him and summoned help.
Richard Pryor – later admitted that the fire that injured him while free-basing cocaine in June 1980 was really a suicide attempt.
raye.jpgMartha Raye – after breaking up with husband David Rose, she went into a depression and took an overdose of sleeping pills in 1956, but recovered.
Nina Simone – the singer attempted suicide due to depression and a sense of helplessness after being attacked in London during the mid-1970s.
Britney Spears – earlier this year, tabloid headlines claimed that the pop diva had experienced a breakdown and tried to kill herself twice, first by walking into traffic, then by ODing on Xanax.
Tina Turner – in her biography I, Tina, she revealed a failed suicide attempt in 1968.
Mike Tyson – in September 1988, the then-undisputed heavyweight champion crashed his car into a tree in what the New York Daily News described as a suicide attempt.
vanilla.jpgVanilla Ice – in 1994, less than five years from the peak of his success, the depressed rapper twice tried to kill himself.
Jean Wallace – the actress hoped to end her life with sleeping pills in 1946 while married to Franchot Tone, then by stabbing herself in 1949 after their divorce.
Tuesday Weld – began drinking at a young age and attempted suicide at the tender age of 12 by ingesting aspirin, sleeping pills, and a bottle of gin. “I had fallen in love with a homosexual and, when it didn’t work out, I felt hurt.”
Hank Williams, Jr. – the combination of drugs and alcohol abuse led to a suicide attempt in early 1974.
Brian Wilson – some sources claim the Beach Boys genius tried to kill himself in the mid-1980s, a low point from which he has since rebounded.


Read the full text here: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/7688#ixzz1f6cfNOQd
--brought to you by mental_floss! 

Friday, November 18, 2011

An open letter to my suicidal friends--get help now!!

Dear Suicidal Friends,

It is with great empathy and a heavy heart that I write you today. I have never been in your shoes, so I will not belittle your pain as if to say, "I know how you feel." I don't know how you feel. And anyone who tries to "cheer you up" by saying, "get over it", clearly has no idea how you feel either. What I do know is, suicide is not the answer.

I realize you are in great pain and want the pain to go away.  Those of us who have not walked in your shoes cannot fathom how you feel right now. But--choosing suicide is a cowardly act. SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM. It's giving up on yourself.  You are basically saying, "I've tried everything to feel better, and nothing is working."

Have you tried everything you can to feel better? Have you? Do your closest friends and family truly know how you feel? I believe it's because suicidal people have a chemical imbalance. Think of it this way--how do you feel when you're in love? The whole world is rosy. The sky is bluer, the grass is greener, food tastes better, and you walk with a spring in your step. You have all those wonderful endorphins rushing through your system. I guess feeling suicidal is the flip side of that. Everything is gray, everything is harder, everything becomes a great effort. You can't just "cheer yourself up." 

Feeling the way you do is not shameful. Asking for help is not shameful. I know that you are a great friend to YOUR friends--if they came to you and said, "hey, I'm not doing so well, I may hurt myself," what would you do? You'd be there for them. You'd rush to their side, take them for coffee, hold them in your arms. You'd listen and talk and be there for them. You are there for YOUR friends, now let them be there for YOU. 

I have a friend who is suicidal and has actually attempted suicide at one point in her life. She is still not out of the woods. It scares me to think I will get a phone call like the one I got about my friend Erin, and my brother. It is a helpless feeling to know our words are ignored because of the dark cloud that obscures rational thought at a time when you need it most. Your friends are rational and can see beyond your pain. Please let them help you!!

When a friend or family member responds to your cries for help, I'm begging you to give them a chance to help you. If you died today, or tomorrow, we will blame ourselves for not being a better friend. I know you don't have the energy to deal with OUR pain, but if I can stop and make you see just for a second how loved your really are, even if you don't feel lovable, you will allow someone to hold your hand through this. 

If possible, take a walk. Get outdoors. Bundle up if you have to, and just talk a slow walk. Take deep breaths and really take in the scenery around you. Listen to the birds. Listen to the cars rushing by. Listen to a train's horn. Pick up a leaf and marvel at how perfect it is. Listen to your heartbeat--the wonderful pumping of blood that is keeping you alive. You, like the leaf, like the birds, like the sky. 
are a one-of-a-kind marvelous creation. It's my hope that you will feel better, even a little bit. You know why? You will get those endorphins going, and we need all the feel-good hormones we can get.  Or play some music that makes you feel like dancing--even if you don't feel like dancing. I truly believe music can help. 

I'm a runner. I started running when my BFF found out she had Stage 4 breast cancer. I ran because she couldn't. I felt guilty I was healthy and she was sick. I found myself crying as I began my run, thinking about how she was getting chemo while I was out in the sunshine. By the time I got home, I had cried it all out and was ready to call her and be a good friend. This went on for months. She is cancer-free now, and I'm still running. Getting outside in the fresh air helps me. Maybe it'll help you.

There are more laughs to be had, more love to be in your life, if you let it. Please choose life, and get help. Call a friend, go to the hospital, call a hotline. We all want you to be around as long as possible, and we want you to be happy. You CAN get there. Lean on someone you trust, even if it's a stranger. Because we care. Please call someone today. 

If you, or someone you know, is in suicidal crisis or emotional distress please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

I love you,
Lauren

P.S. Some websites to turn to:

http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Have-Attempted-Suicide/32285

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/

http://www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=1

                        ***************************************************

What can I do to help someone who is suicidal?

Take it seriously.
Myth: “The people who talk about it don't do it.” Studies have found that more than 75% of all completed suicides did things in the few weeks or months prior to their deaths to indicate to others that they were in deep despair. Anyone expressing suicidal feelings needs immediate attention.

Myth: “Anyone who tries to kill himself has got to be crazy.” Perhaps 10% of all suicidal people are psychotic or have delusional beliefs about reality. Most suicidal people suffer from the recognized mental illness of depression; but many depressed people adequately manage their daily affairs. The absence of “craziness” does not mean the absence of suicide risk.

“Those problems weren't enough to commit suicide over,” is often said by people who knew a completed suicide. You cannot assume that because you feel something is not worth being suicidal about, that the person you are with feels the same way. It is not how bad the problem is, but how badly it's hurting the person who has it.

Remember: suicidal behavior is a cry for help.
Myth: “If a someone is going to kill himself, nothing can stop him.” The fact that a person is still alive is sufficient proof that part of him wants to remain alive. The suicidal person is ambivalent - part of him wants to live and part of him wants not so much death as he wants the pain to end. It is the part that wants to live that tells another “I feel suicidal.” If a suicidal person turns to you it is likely that he believes that you are more caring, more informed about coping with misfortune, and more willing to protect his confidentiality. No matter how negative the manner and content of his talk, he is doing a positive thing and has a positive view of you.

Be willing to give and get help sooner rather than later.
Suicide prevention is not a last minute activity. All textbooks on depression say it should be reached as soon as possible. Unfortunately, suicidal people are afraid that trying to get help may bring them more pain: being told they are stupid, foolish, sinful, or manipulative; rejection; punishment; suspension from school or job; written records of their condition; or involuntary commitment. You need to do everything you can to reduce pain, rather than increase or prolong it. Constructively involving yourself on the side of life as early as possible will reduce the risk of suicide.

Listen.Give the person every opportunity to unburden his troubles and ventilate his feelings. You don't need to say much and there are no magic words. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it. Give him relief from being alone with his pain; let him know you are glad he turned to you. Patience, sympathy, acceptance. Avoid arguments and advice giving.

ASK: “Are you having thoughts of suicide?”
Myth: “Talking about it may give someone the idea.” People already have the idea; suicide is constantly in the news media. If you ask a despairing person this question you are doing a good thing for them: you are showing him that you care about him, that you take him seriously, and that you are willing to let him share his pain with you. You are giving him further opportunity to discharge pent up and painful feelings. If the person is having thoughts of suicide, find out how far along his ideation has progressed.

If the person is acutely suicidal, do not leave him alone.
If the means are present, try to get rid of them. Detoxify the home. 


Urge professional help.
Persistence and patience may be needed to seek, engage and continue with as many options as possible. In any referral situation, let the person know you care and want to maintain contact.

No secrets.
It is the part of the person that is afraid of more pain that says “Don't tell anyone.” It is the part that wants to stay alive that tells you about it. Respond to that part of the person and persistently seek out a mature and compassionate person with whom you can review the situation. (You can get outside help and still protect the person from pain causing breaches of privacy.) Do not try to go it alone. Get help for the person and for yourself. Distributing the anxieties and responsibilities of suicide prevention makes it easier and much more effective.

From crisis to recovery.
Most people have suicidal thoughts or feelings at some point in their lives; yet less than 2% of all deaths are suicides. Nearly all suicidal people suffer from conditions that will pass with time or with the assistance of a recovery program. There are hundreds of modest steps we can take to improve our response to the suicidal and to make it easier for them to seek help. Taking these modest steps can save many lives and reduce a great deal of human suffering.



WARNING SIGNSConditions associated with increased risk of suicide
Death or terminal illness of relative or friend.
Divorce, separation, broken relationship, stress on family.
Loss of health (real or imaginary).
Loss of job, home, money, status, self-esteem, personal security.
Alcohol or drug abuse.
Depression. In the young depression may be masked by hyperactivity or acting out behavior. In the elderly it may be incorrectly attributed to the natural effects of aging. Depression that seems to quickly disappear for no apparent reason is cause for concern. The early stages of recovery from depression can be a high risk period. Recent studies have associated anxiety disorders with increased risk for attempted suicide.
Emotional and behavioral changes associated with suicide
Overwhelming Pain: pain that threatens to exceed the person's pain coping capacities. Suicidal feelings are often the result of longstanding problems that have been exacerbated by recent precipitating events. The precipitating factors may be new pain or the loss of pain coping resources.
Hopelessness: the feeling that the pain will continue or get worse; things will never get better.
Powerlessness: the feeling that one's resources for reducing pain are exhausted.
Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, self-hatred, “no one cares”. Fears of losing control, harming self or others.
Personality becomes sad, withdrawn, tired, apathetic, anxious, irritable, or prone to angry outbursts.
Declining performance in school, work, or other activities. (Occasionally the reverse: someone who volunteers for extra duties because they need to fill up their time.)
Social isolation; or association with a group that has different moral standards than those of the family.
Declining interest in sex, friends, or activities previously enjoyed.
Neglect of personal welfare, deteriorating physical appearance.
Alterations in either direction in sleeping or eating habits.
(Particularly in the elderly) Self-starvation, dietary mismanagement, disobeying medical instructions.
Difficult times: holidays, anniversaries, and the first week after discharge from a hospital; just before and after diagnosis of a major illness; just before and during disciplinary proceedings. Undocumented status adds to the stress of a crisis.
Suicidal Behavior
Previous suicide attempts, “mini-attempts”.
Explicit statements of suicidal ideation or feelings.
Development of suicidal plan, acquiring the means, “rehearsal” behavior, setting a time for the attempt.
Self-inflicted injuries, such as cuts, burns, or head banging.
Reckless behavior. (Besides suicide, other leading causes of death among young people in New York City are homicide, accidents, drug overdose, and AIDS.) Unexplained accidents among children and the elderly.
Making out a will or giving away favorite possessions.
Inappropriately saying goodbye.
Verbal behavior that is ambiguous or indirect: “I'm going away on a real long trip.”, “You won't have to worry about me anymore.”, “I want to go to sleep and never wake up.”, “I'm so depressed, I just can't go on.”, “Does God punish suicides?”, “Voices are telling me to do bad things.”, requests for euthanasia information, inappropriate joking, stories or essays on morbid themes.

A WARNING ABOUT WARNING SIGNSThe majority of the population at any one time does not have many of the warning signs and has a lower suicide risk rate. But a lower rate in a larger population is still a lot of people - and many completed suicides had only a few of the conditions listed above. In a one person to another person situation, all indications of suicidality need to be taken seriously.
__________________
Fall seven times, stand up eight


When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on