"Just Do It" and other silly notions about resolutions

Happy New Year! Welcome 2012! Fresh slate; a brand-new year has begun. The annual tradition of resolution-making is well under way for many people. I've had the same resolution year after year after year, that still hasn't been crossed off my to-do list. I can't tell you what it is because you will tell me, "Just Do It", like the Nike slogan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, if it were that easy, I'd have done it by now. And that's the thing about resolutions--we make hard ones we are unlikely to keep.

What if we were to make resolutions like my friend revealed to me the other night: "eat less pasta." Now that's one she can probably accomplish with little self-injury. How about a resolution to "watch more TV"? If you're someone like me who can never stop moving, this is actually an improvement to my quality of life. My children rarely see me in other than upright and erect, fastly moving like a vacuum cleaner. How about, "I resolve to step over toys, dirty clothes and other clutter without cussing." That would be a good one for me. I could possibly do this. (We could also make a resolution to pick up after ourselves so I wouldn't have to even make that cussing resolution in the first place, but I'm just as much a slob as my children are. Tim is excluded from this. Poor guy is the neatnik in the family. His resolution would probably be similar--step over clutter, refrain from cussing, and refrain from picking up after us once again). 

Here's another resolution I bet most people could make and keep--"Text people back ASAP." It's frustrating to write people and they don't respond. FOR DAYS. Now notice I didn't say anything about phone calls. That's a trickier one. Phone calls interrupt more and I know for a fact that I can't just call someone and talk for 10 minutes; it's like going into Target and not spending at least a hundred dollars. I know I can't do it, so I have to just not go to Target. Same with phone calls. But texting is quicker and less intrusive. You write me a sentence, I write you back a sentence. See how easy that is? That took a total of one minute. I can text you when I'm in the bathroom but I can't call you from there. If you're stuck in the 20th century and don't text at all, well, that's one less resolution you'll have to make but you're getting left out of the loop.

We make ourselves promises to improve our lives, our bodies, our mental health, and the quality of life for those around us. I won't use this blog to wag my finger is anybody's face and make you feel badly if you fall off your resolution band wagon. I'm just as guilty as the next guy. But we CAN give ourselves a pat on the back for the resolutions we have kept, or will be trying to keep as the newness of the new year fades. 

I'm happy to say that I don't have to make any more resolutions to lose weight or get in shape. DONE! I am very proud of that. Are there other things I need to work on? But of course silly! I could probably make a list of 20 things I could do to improve my life and the lives of my loved ones. We all have daily struggles and challenges and you don't need me to remind you about dealing with vices, financial planning, communicating better, eating healthier, yada yada yada. That's called "life". Our pursuit of happiness is laden with trying to balance work and pleasure. Maturing is the thing that spurs us to first admit areas of our lives that aren't working for us, and conquering the immediate gratifications that got us into trouble in the first place.

I'm inspired by the words written, not spoken, by Roger Ebert, who due to a lengthy battle with cancer had his lower jaw removed has permanently lost his ability to eat, drink, and talk forever and "speaks" through a computer-generated voice named "Alex"--

We all know people who have been challenged by physical circumstance (my cousin Brian Hayden, for one--please read his blog www.brianhayden.com). I have been very fortunate in my life SO FAR and I am humbled by people like Brian and Roger, and my close friend Inka and now a new friend who also has had to make very difficult life decisions due to having been diagnosed with breast cancer. 

So spring forth my friends into 2012 with (hopefully!!!) an optimistic outlook that only YOU can make 2012 better for you. It's true that the only person you can change is you; and that you can only control HOW you react to the things that happen TO you; you can't control anyone or anything else. But that doesn't make you powerless. You can accomplish much if you just set your mind to it.

I'm rooting for you.

http://www.esquire.com/features/roger-ebert-0310-4

http://brianhayden.com/
http://www.43things.com/resolutions/trends

"36 Reasons Why Moms Make Better Employees---Instead of Teenagers and Other Assorted Men-Folk"

     Except for my stint as a part-time substitute teacher the last 3 years, I've been a stay-at-home mom for the previous 12 years. I just got a job in a similar line of work that I used to do before Tim and I had kids--bartending.  I work at the gym we belong to; mostly making protein smoothies and pizza and other snacks, but serving up drinks for the grown-ups as well. As with any food service job, keeping the work area clean is top priority. When I'm not serving customers, I'm scrubbing stainless steel, mopping floors, washing glasses and blenders, re-stocking supplies. Being new, I wasn't sure the first time I had to mop whether or not this particular spot on the tile was just a stubborn, sticky spilt-mark or a permanent part of the caulking. After spending considerable time scraping and scrubbing it to the point that I had my answer (it came up! I was so proud!) I had what Oprah would call a "lightbulb moment". Thankfully, it was a slow shift, and I subsequently wrote this blog on company time, albeit on little sections of receipt paper, fed and torn into 4-inch strips. I call it, "Why Companies Should Hire Moms Instead of Teenagers and Other Assorted Men-Folk". In no particular order, here's my top 36 reasons why mothers make the best employees:

1. Moms are thrilled to be getting paid to do stuff at home we do for free.

2. We are thrilled to have a good reason to get out of the house.

3. Moms get to be around other adults, having adult conversations.

4. We know how to multi-task. (We cook dinner with a baby on one hip, feed the dog, and talk on the phone, check our email).

5. We're used to running around frantically, taking care of many people with completely different needs all at the same time.

6. Moms are experts at smiling on the outside while screaming on the inside.

7. We are thrilled to get a paycheck! Assuages our guilt over spending money on getting our nails done.

8. Moms finally feel appreciated. After all, we get a paycheck!

9. Moms like that people get to see them at their best instead of their worst all the time.

10. We have an excuse for take-out.

11. Moms have a good reason to get their nails done and buy new make-up and earrings! (see #9)

12. We don't complain about having to work a holiday. (what's a holiday??)

13. EXCEPT MOTHER'S DAY. THAT'S SACRED.

14. Moms aren't likely to steal from the company.

15. We're not likely to show up stoned or drunk. Or hungover.

16. Moms get excited at being called by their names instead of 'Mommy" for a change!

17. We are used to eating standing up.

18. Moms are used to eating cold food.

19. We are used to going without eating.

20. Moms are psychic. We are amazing at anticipating the needs of others.

21. We are more likely to show up.

22. ON TIME. OR EARLY. (see #1)

23. Moms know better than to roll our eyes, sigh, or cluck our tongues when our boss asks us to do something out of our job description. (are you thinking of the last time you asked your kid to pick up after himself???)

24. We don't call in sick unless we absolutely cannot get out of bed. Moms are used to carrying on, regardless of how crappy we feel.

25. Moms are quick learners.

26. We handle pressure better than anyone else. Moms are like ducks--on the surface we are calm but underneath, we are paddling like crazy.

27. Moms like it when we are told we are doing a great job. No one tells us this at home.

28. We like making new friends! (see #3)

29. Moms don't act like menial work is beneath us. (see #1)

30. We like that our families learn to appreciate us in our absence.

31. And often we come home to clean a house. (thank you Timmy and kids!!)

32. While we are working, the kids learn to get along without us. Magnificently by the way.

33. Moms have amazingly strong bladders.

34. We obsess over dirty surfaces. (we had crawling babies, remember?)

35. Unidentified spots will be scrubbed till they disappear. It's just the way we're made.

36. Getting out of the house occasionally helps us to lose weight. (It's a win-win! We get paid, AND we can lose poundage!)


All this I came to realize just mopping the floor the other night at work. I am SO glad I'm back in the workplace, as hard as it is sometimes to not be there to pick my kids up from school (that's what buses are for!) and for them to have to fend for themselves sometimes. But you know what? Jen and Ian have gotten so much closer and so much more independent. Just this past Saturday, with me working and Tim out of town, Jennifer made pancakes and scrambled eggs for her brother. He had a track meet, and she cooked for him and woke him up and made him breakfast. I know! Made me cry too. What a sweetheart. And he ate it all. He was very appreciative.

And she had breakfast waiting for me when I got home too. Thank you sweetheart!!!

And Friday night I had candles and a bubble bath waiting for me, and all the laundry folded and put away. I love my husband!!!

Guess what? I love working!!!